CamilaFartist

Making it up as I go…

I don’t know how I feel about a blah-blah-blahg (other than my stomach lurching at the thought of it), but I figure I gotta walk the talk: I believe in improv as a practice versus a performance, so I better model the process of practicing new and uncomfortable things.

One thing I feel comfortable putting out there: I’d like to get more people to try improv to access a bit of play and creative thinking in their life, even if it’s alone. This is a practice space I wish existed for me growing up, and in my early adult years. As a fairly extreme introvert, socializing weighed heavy on my energy and my anxiety. Worse, when I got to be in groups of people, I always felt like I was doing things wrong: playing “house” wrong, conversing wrong – incorrectly, excuse me! – sending off the wrong vibes or making others uncomfortable…like maybe they could feel my discomfort.

There’s a lot wrapped up in that that doesn’t apply to every introvert, but like many introverts, I didn’t dislike people or play, I just engaged more quietly. Sometimes extremely uncomfortably. I’d play by myself a lot as a kid, and as an adult, I’d be in my own head as often as I could be. Improv taught me a lot about “how” to play with others, with wonderful boundaries that eased my uncertainties, despite, ironically, the practice of improv being all about…uncertainty.

Here are a few immediate ways improv helped me engage with the world more comfortably:

  • structured meeting time
  • guided interaction
    • games with rules
      • on that point, celebration of mistakes of said rules. Win-win!
  • encouragement to be myself
    • unique perspectives required…who wants an improv group of 10 of the same person? exhausting
  • focusing on others: by emphasizing extension of patience and generosity to others, I got out of my own head, eventually trusting that others were extending those sentiments to me

Over time I learned:

  • to think beyond structure and trust my creative intuition, even if it got freakin’ weird, I AM SO WEIRD
  • to feel confidently authentic in the presence of others – still hard, but I can quickly access this space around most  improvisers
  • to entertain myself throughout the day. I will speak more on this later. But I would say…feeling bored/under-stimulated and being introverted can be highly problematic, not to get dramatic.

Mmm…I feel like stopping. Imma trust that. EDIT!